After All This Time
by Tatiana K
Summary: Cora and Remus meet before the war, when Cora is pregnant with her son and her husband has abandoned her. They become very close and Remus is there for the birth of her son, but a painful decision must be made. Four years later, they meet again in Diagon Alley and all of the things they never said still seem to hang in the air between them. OOP and post-war. Remus/OC. One-shot.


_I thought of this about two years ago but I'm fairly certain it could not work as a full story. But I loved the tragedy of it too much to just let it go. :-) Tell me what you think!_

* * *

**After All This Time**

They had been doomed from the moment they met. He knew that now, as he watched her through the window of a robes shop in Diagon Alley. She turned to him and their eyes met, her blue-grey ones widening in surprise.

"I'm going to have a look around the bookshop across the street. Find me when you're done."

Tonks noticed the look on his face and followed his gaze. The other woman was no longer there but Tonks could sense her presence. She sighed. Remus had chosen her but only after his heart had been broken.

* * *

Remus had met the blue-grey eyed woman before Sirius had died, at an Order meeting. She had come in with Kingsly and it was not immediately clear why he was treating her with such care. But she turned to put down a suitcase and it became very obvious: she was at least five months pregnant.

None of them had met her before, but Molly was delighted with the prospect of a baby and asked when the father would arrive. The woman had turned sheet white and Kingsley had glossed over it quickly.

"That's not a good sign," Sirius quipped from behind Remus on the stairs.

"The missing father or the baby?" Remus teased in return.

"Both. She's a looker even if she's preggers."

And that she was: thin (even with the baby) with glasses and curling auburn hair. While that may have been all that drew Sirius to her, Remus was pulled by a deeper urge to protect. She looked tense and tired, a combination he understood very well. Especially with the full moon in the coming week.

At the meeting her presence had been explained by Kingsley, with the woman herself staying silent most of the time. Her name was Cora and she was here because her husband had left her and she could no longer protect herself. She had chosen, when she married a Muggle, to give up the magical world and live within the Muggle one exclusively. But as the world grew darker, her husband became more and more aware that "her people" were doing this. And when people around them began to die, he forced her out. He had not known of the pregnancy and any attempt to contact him with the information had failed. And so she had returned to the world she had grown up in and had gone to Kingsley looking for help.

So now Cora was here, pregnant and alone. She was to live in Grimmauld Place and she would help take care of things there and do what she could for the Order.

"But in her condition–," Molly began.

"I want to. Please…don't take this from me," Cora had cut her off. Those were the first words Remus heard her speak. She had stared at her hands, specifically a pale strip of skin on her left ring finger. And while Molly usually spent quite a bit of time objecting to things, this time she stayed silent.

After the Order meeting, Severus had left very quickly, even for him, seeming to be more uncomfortable than usual with the pregnant woman. Sirius had chatted with her straight off and she seemed to slowly grow to accept the fact that he wasn't going to kill her in the night. Remus had waited, hanging around until the room finally thinned out.

"I'm Remus and I will be your housemate. Can I get your bag?" he asked in a determinedly comedic manner, once he could talk to her without shouting over the din.

She had looked at him with her wide eyes and smiled somewhat. "Cora," she introduced herself and held out her hand. Her grip was firm though her palms were clammy.

"Are you alright?"

She nodded. "Just the baby. I haven't felt the best since I got here."

"Well, then let's get you out of here." He carried her bags for her, which were deceptively heavy for their size, and found the room Molly had prepared.

"I must warn you," he said as she looked around the room, "there's a hippogriff in the top floor spare room. So tread cautiously."

"Seriously?"

"Indeed. He's an escaped convict as well. His name is Buckbeak."

"And what are you, Remus?" She had stood uncommonly close to him, sucking him in with her wide eyes. "We have two convicts, a knocked up witch, and…?"

And for whatever reason he told her. Maybe because she would find out in a few days anyway.

"A werewolf."

She stepped back a little, clearly not expecting such an answer. She had only been joking with him. But she recovered quickly and looked apologetic. "Sorry."

He shrugged. "There are worse things I could be, I suppose." He had turned to leave but her voice stopped him.

"I'm very good at Potions. I…I could make Wolfsbane for you."

He looked at her for a moment before speaking. "I would be very grateful. Goodnight, Cora."

* * *

Remus left Tonks back at the robes store and hurried across the narrow street. He glanced down each aisle until he once again saw the very familiar shape.

"Cora?"

She spun to face him, replacing the book she had been skimming through. It had only been…four years now since they had met and his voice still sent shivers down her spine.

"Remus," she breathed. "You survived the war."

He could not suppress a smile. "You knew that. The medal was a very big deal."

"But seeing you with my own eyes…now I believe it."

He looked her over as she did the same to him. He had only ever seen her without a baby bump for two days.

"You look…great, Cora. How is he?"

She smiled at him Remus sadly. "You could meet him if you like." Before he had answered her either way she turned and called behind her. "Come here, baby!"

A little four-year-old boy with black curls and freckles ran up to her and grabbed her leg. She lifted him easily, since he shared his mother's slight build, and the boy looked up at Remus shyly.

* * *

Within a week of their first meeting, Cora had made good on her offer to Remus, spending most of her time brewing the complicated potion. And on the full moon, Remus lay docile on the floor of his bedroom with Sirius for company.

"She likes you," Sirius said, matter-of-factly as he threw flaking paint into the bedroom fire.

The wolf on the floor rolled its eyes.

"Don't believe me, but it's true. Why else would she spend all of her time on this?"

The wolf quirked its eyebrow at him. Sirius grinned as he could almost hear Remus's voice in his head. _Because she's nice? Because she wants something to do?_

"Nobody's that much of a do-gooder, Moony."

But it turned out Cora was. She dumped Sirius's liquor supply within three days and then nursed him through the withdraw herself, despite all of the things he yelled at her and the protestations from Remus. She had a natural desire to fix the broken, and there was plenty of brokenness in Grimmauld Place. She cleaned and cooked as well, often refusing to eat because of nausea until Remus coaxed some food into her.

Sirius began to follow her around when he was bored, teasing her and harmlessly flirting with her. She seemed amused by the idea of a notorious convict as a friend, but the relationship never went much deeper.

When Cora wasn't busy with some potion for Sirius or Remus or her baby, she read magical baby books. She had tried Muggle ones but the descriptions sounded so bloody and gross that she gave up and returned to the magical ones.

Remus was reading in the library one afternoon, two weeks after she moved in when she appeared in the doorway, waiting for him to notice her there. She looked shy and he invited her to sit next to him.

"Any way I can assist, Cora?"

She stared intently at her lap. "It's silly but I wanted to show someone."

"Show someone what?"

"My baby…" The words were so quiet they were almost unheard. "I just learned the spell."

Remus took her hand in his own. "I would be honored."

Cora smiled at him and then pulled her shirt up over her belly. She pointed her wand at her stomach and the skin began to glow. And then, sure enough, the baby was visible. Remus always thought babies looked like mutants and this was no exception. But the way Cora looked at her unborn child melted his heart completely.

"It's a boy," she murmured, squeezing Remus's hand.

* * *

In the bookstore, the boy in her arms looked like his mother in his freckles, his eyes, and his build. Remus had to assume that the hair and the face shape was the father's; he had never actually seen the Muggle.

Cora pushed the dark curls off of the boy's forehead and planted a kiss there. The child smiled and then returned to being shy, burying his face in his mother's neck.

"He's never like this with anyone," Cora laughed, locking eyes with Remus. "It must be you."

Remus couldn't think of anything to say.

Cora seemed to notice and turned her attention back to her son. "Tell this gentleman your name, sweetheart. He's a friend of mummy's."

Remus smiled encouragingly and the child spoke.

"Romulus."

* * *

From the moment she and Remus first saw her baby, Cora and Remus had become inseparable. He had learned as much about pregnancy as she had. He had nursed her through sickness, gone to the store in the late hours for her cravings, and had helped her check on the development of her son.

Remus had unexpectedly fallen for Cora fast and hard. The way she spoke about her son, the way she smiled at him, the way she always thought of Remus when she needed more care than he did…

She brewed him the Wolfsbane the following month, even though the smell of it made her very nauseous. And she read to him from the book he had been working on as they sat on the floor of the library, his head in her lap as she scratched behind his ears.

Of course Sirius noticed and finally felt compelled to address it.

"She's married, Remus."

"I know that!"

"You're in love with her. At least admit it!"

"It doesn't matter. She needs someone to take care of her right now and it does not matter how I feel about her."

"And if her husband wants a divorce? When _will_ it matter?"

Annoyance gave way to anger at that comment. "What are you playing at? Do you want me with her or what? I'm a werewolf. She's off limits_ no matter what_ and my feelings don't change that!"

He had stormed off ending the conversation and convincing Sirius all the more. That and seeing them later in the evening curled up before the fire in the library, Remus's arms wrapped around Cora as they sat deep in conversation.

* * *

Glancing out into Diagon Alley, Cora set her son down. "Why don't you go tell your father I'll be on a short walk, alright?"

"Sweets?" The blue-grey eyes widened, a perfect miniature of his mother.

"Go on. Go pick out a book; _that_ won't rot your teeth."

The little boy hurried away with the promise of a book fresh in his mind.

"Is that alright? A walk, I mean? I heard you're married now." Cora turned to Remus, looking uneasy for the first time in the conversation.

"To Tonks. You met her."

Cora grinned in return. "I always thought that was so obvious. Well good for you. And good for her."

Remus smiled back. "Shall we?"

* * *

Remus had known Tonks for about six months when Cora had arrived. The younger witch had fallen for Remus very quickly, especially when Remus and Sirius played off of one another. It didn't matter to her that he was twelve years older than her.

But the other woman had arrived: sweet, older, and in need of care. So Remus was won away from Tonks instantly, and it was blindingly obvious to anyone who bothered to look. Tonks had wanted to hate Cora, but what was to hate? Remus was a perfectly single and desirable man. And they worked so well together.

Cora had known all of this and had tried to downplay what they had together in front of Tonks, but Remus was oblivious and did not appreciate being rebuffed each Order meeting. But there were other reasons for this as well. Other Order members were starting to talk, namely Kingsly and the Weasleys. Molly even went so far as to ask her about her "future plans," hinting heavily at Remus's involvement in them, until Arthur pulled her away and scolded her for a solid five minutes.

But Cora knew what she wanted. It was not painful to hear Molly ask such things because they were silly exaggerations It was painful because it was true, and if Remus could just be eliminated then the pain may go away. So one night, Cora had finally confronted him with all of this.

"Nymphadora is in love with you. And she's young and pretty and talented. You should be with her. Then you could be happy."

"I do not care. I could never be with her."

"Remus, 'never' is a very absolute sentiment."

"I have nothing to offer her."

Cora looked at him with a solid wall of anger between them. "How utilitarian. Added it all up have you? And what does a married, knocked up, and abandoned witch have to offer? Guess I should just give up now."

"I have nothing to offer anyone. It's not about Tonks," he growled at her, becoming defensive.

"Like I don't know that," Cora snorted at him.

"And _what_ does that mean?"

Cora looked at him with an expression that was very unfamiliar to him. She was tired of this; she wanted a husband for her bed and a father for her son. "Remus…can't you see _anything_?"

Remus's mind reeled. What was she doing? And why? Why ruin what they had by talking about it when it could never be more?

"I've had enough of this," he said, hurrying off of the couch. "I'm going to bed."

He found himself frozen against a bookshelf instead. It was the first time she had ever used magic against him and he was taken completely by surprise. She approached him slowly, until her body pressed against his. Cora could feel his pulse race and she knew she had guessed right after all of this time.

"Remus John Lupin, if I were not married…"

And with that Cora had leaned forward and kissed him. Remus was released from the spell but he did not leave. He put his arms around her and kissed her back. His resolve, all the defenses he had built up against her, were torn away the minute their lips met.

* * *

The cool autumn air nipped at Cora and Remus's noses and the pair walked down Diagon Alley in silence. Students flocked here and there buying supplies and the smell of caramel was in the air. Cora stopped at a stand selling spiced wine and she bought one for each of them.

"I'm not pregnant anymore," she replied more to his questioning expression than his words. "I _can_ drink."

He laughed quietly and sipped the warming red liquid. It hit the spot perfectly.

"We never could have made it, right?" she asked, staring straight ahead as the wind flung her hair about before letting it settle on her shoulders.

Remus was not shocked by the question, but more by the bluntness of it. This same question reverberated around his mind toward the end of every autumn. Every time it got close to the birth of her son.

"I was hoping you could tell me, Cora."

She shook her head and laughed humorlessly. "No answers here. My husband always gets edgy this time of year. He says I'm not really with him in the autumn."

Remus nodded. Nymphadora could tell when he was thinking of Cora as well.

* * *

Cora and Remus had only ever shared the one kiss. Remus made himself swear he would behave as well as he could. But she was his weakness and she eventually convinced him that they could be together.

However, she had still been married and her husband had no knowledge of the child she was now very close to delivering. So Cora had sent an owl to her husband, informing her of how to contact her and of their child. And requesting a divorce. It had been nearly nine months and he had never contacted her once. She was ready to be done with it all.

It was a bitterly cold autumn night when she went into labor. Everyone was out except for Sirius and Remus and it had begun to snow. They were watching old magical films when she let out a shrill cry and dashed off.

"What the bloody hell…?" Sirius had asked, but she was back moments later, in a skirt instead of the jeans she had been wearing and looking panicky.

"My water broke. Oh Merlin!"

Stunningly, Sirius had stepped it up immediately and grabbed nearly every blanket in the house for the couch, which he enlarged in a moment. "I'll Floo Molly. You stay with her, Remus."

The other nodded and took Cora's hand. Her enormous eyes were the size of saucers and she looked about to cry.

"Remus, I can't. I can't!"

"Enough!"

She stopped completely. She had heard him raise his voice a handful of times ever, and half of them were because Sirius had done something stupid.

"Now," he soothed, "you can and you will. You have been ready for this for months. You are the strongest witch I know and I …" He trailed off. His hand cupped her cheek, smoothing away tears. Dare he say it?

Molly's entrance answered that for him very finally. Especially since Molly and Hestia, who had been at the Burrow for dinner, shoved him from the room. He was tasked with gathering her birth potions and then immediately banished to the hallway.

Nothing happened for about an hour and then, all at once, it began. Cora's screams had tested every fiber of Remus's being and he had paced outside of the library for ages. Even Sirius seemed nervous and kept popping up next to Remus only to be driven away by the screaming and then coming back.

"Remind me to never give birth," Sirius joked hollowly after several hours of this. But there was a new sound within. A crying sound and no more screaming.

After about ten minutes, the door unlocked and the men were allowed into the room. Molly sanitized their hands before she would even let them close to the mother and child, doing Sirius twice for good measure.

Cora was frizzy, showing she had been recently and hurriedly cleaned up, but she glowed. In her arms was a tiny person, red and squealing. Her son.

"Remus, meet my son," she said, their gazes meeting.

Remus gently ran a finger over the chubby arm, earning a cooing sound. His eyes were misty as he beamed at Cora.

"What's his name, darlin'?" Sirius grinned, ruffling the dark hair on the baby's head.

"Romulus."

* * *

Remembering all of this and all of the time that had passed, Remus turned to Cora suddenly, all of the words he should have said overwhelming him. "I should have told you! I should have told you that night that I loved you! I've never regretted anything more! I used to tell myself that it was better that way, with my being what I am, but you had done away with those arguments long before and I was left with nothing to hide behind."

He looked so upset and she soothed him quickly. "You were just trying to do what you saw was right. I was still married."

"But then it was too late. I need you to know, Cora. I need you to know how much you meant. How much you mean. Before it's too late again."

"But I've always known..."

And for the second time ever, their lips found one another, warmth flooding them both.

* * *

The owl had arrived when Romulus was two days old and Cora had nearly fainted after reading it. Sirius had been with her and had literally run to get Remus. She handed him the message without any explanation.

It was from her husband. He wanted to get back together. He had tried to contact her after about four months, about the time she returned to the wizarding world, but how can a Muggle find a witch who lives in a house that doesn't exist? Her final owl asking for a divorce and giving the news of their son had tipped the scales and he had thrown care to the wind. He had somehow come in contact with a witch Cora had known in the neighborhood and had sent this owl through her. He was sorry, he was an ass, and he wanted to be a husband and father once again.

Remus read the letter, set it down, and took a few steps before blacking out. When he came to, Cora was holding his head in her lap and her tears were raining down on his face. He knew what her decision was before she told him. Remus Apparated away, leaving Cora with Sirius, and landed himself in the Hog's Head where he got drunk for the fourth time in his life.

The next morning found him in his own bed with Cora forcing a potion down his throat. She explained that Arthur had found him and brought him home, inferring the reason for Remus's state.

Remus lay in bed and stared at the ceiling. How stupid he had been, thinking she could possibly choose him.

But Cora could nearly read his thoughts by now. "It's not like that, Remus. He's my husband. We are already married. This is his baby."

When Remus did not respond she took her son and placed him in Remus's arms. His rough hands smoothed back the thick hair and the tiny hand wrapped around his finger.

"I have to give my husband a second chance. Would you not want the same?"

He had not thought of it on those terms. Yes, if this were his baby and he had been stupid enough to leave someone as wonderful as Cora, he supposed he would be willing to do anything at all for a second chance.

Their eyes met and tears leaked out of his eyes. They were already pouring from her eyes.

"I would have married you," she whispered, so quietly he half wondered if he had imagined it. Then she gently took her son from him and left the room.

It was the last time he saw her. Until now.

* * *

Cora and Remus stepped away from one another quickly, breaking off their second kiss. They were not ashamed but aware of how painful this could be for their respective spouses. They watched the children dash from shop to shop and their hands rested next to each other as they leaned against a storefront.

"He has been a good husband," she said quietly. "And a very good father. We're raising Romulus magically."

"We have a son. Teddy Lupin. After her father."

They looked at one another for a long moment. They had both made decisions and to change that now would hurt everyone they loved: their spouses, their friends, and their children. Their time had passed and that door was now closed to them. But the need for closure was still there.

"Do you love her?" Cora met his amber eyes with her wide blue-grey ones.

"Yes. I do. I left her too, even after everything with you. I thought it would help, but I realized how much I would be losing."

Cora looked down at the ground for a minute and when she looked back up at him she was sniffling.

"Do you love him?"

"I do. I think... it was the _right_ decision.

"The hard ones often are," Remus murmured, wiping a tear away from her cheek. There was silence and they went back to leaning against the wall, facing away from one another.

"I believe we could have been," Cora said slowly. "But…"

"But luck was never on our side," Remus finished sadly, nodding. "I will always love you, Cora. You and your son."

"And I will always love you. After all, I named my son for you."

"I know."

"Mama!"

Cora turned smiling and scooped her son up in her arms. He held a new book in his hands and she exclaimed over it as he showed her the different pages. A tall, thin man with smile lines around his eyes appeared behind her.

"Ethan, this is Remus Lupin. He was there the night Romy was born."

Remus momentarily worries that the Muggle was going to deck him, but he simply shook hands with Remus.

"Da'?" A blue haired little boy was soon in Remus's arms with his violet haired wife close on his heels.

"Hullo, Tonks. Your boy has lovely hair," greeted Cora, trying to sound normal.

Tonks smiled, unease edging it. "Thank you. He only ever wants it bright blue. Don't you, Teddy?"

"We should go, Cora. Quidditch." Ethan's words were even and calm, but he kept his eyes on Remus.

She shifted her boy in her arms to look at her watch and gave a shout. "We'll be late! Romy's in a toddler Quidditch league. About the funniest thing you've ever seen." She turned to Remus. "Well…it was nice to see you again."

"It's always nice to see you, Cora. And Romulus, of course."

"Good-bye, Remus."

"Good-bye, Cora."

Ethan's arm went protectively around Cora as they walked quickly away. But even as they parted ways, Remus and Cora felt a little lighter and a little more whole.


End file.
